Today I went out after dinner to look at a house that has lights that flash to Christmas music.  It was surprisingly simple and nice to be out with people. 

I want to be a positive change in the world.  I plan to start it by starting....small and building a small army of do-gooders.

I'm not sure what happened, and perhaps it's only happening on television, but when did it become competitive to be a part of a dating online community service?   So what that eHarmony didn't accept you?  I'd feel a little less dorky *but only a little less* being dinged by eHarmony.  

I'm still embarrassed to come out and tell people I'm on LJ.  I'm already abbreviating it.  I've been sucked in.  It's a whole new world being online and not actually dating in person or speaking to people as much.  There is a whole land here to be explore (and god knows there's plenty of it already explored); I wasn't a pioneer here.  I was a native of Prodigy back when it was a part of Sears.  And then I was in the ivory tower writing bad papers and being embarrassed, in part, for my existence.  

And my personal journals at home must be filled with errors with spell check a part of this program.  I've been corrrected 5 times at least already.  My other online journal must be a horrific example of spelling....but I graduated from ASU so not much should be expected of me.  It certainly should lower all expectations.  I know mine have been too low for a while now.

I'm stuck in a hotel because of bad weather.  I am so close to being home.  I'm going to try to brave the elements and go get another outfit out of my car.  This one is starting to stink.  Who knew I'd be stuck here longer than 5-6 hours?

Tomorrow I planned to drive home at 6 a.m.  Right.  Only if I stay up all night tonight....which I might.  

I cannot believe I've already failed at all 4 goals I've made in 2008.  Maybe the next four will go better.

 

I will get my wet laundry in the morning and put it in the dryer or hang it to dry.
I will stop chowing so much between the hours of 9 p.m. and 5 a.m.
I will go lay down and start watching the USA channel until I fall asleep by 3 a.m. tonight.
 

 How many times can we answer this?  I can give tons of sarcastic answers that hides all my fears and dreams......to drop down to a size 00 and have people raving over the new me instead of poking me with sticks.

My dream:  finding someone to love *insert film Enchanted*.  Giving my heart to everyone and hoping someone returns it. *insert, "Yeah, right."*

I'm looking around wanting to tell secrets, but I cannot.  I want to open up and share all this with someone in person.   I'm afraid I found him two or three times, but I screwed it all up.   I'm embarrassed that I've started a journal telling no one, and so many folks have journals here with hundreds of friends. 

Fuck.  I just looked at my email and found out that I have to be out of my house by Feb. 1st.  Fuckmerunning.  That should have been my screenname.  My life has been ups and downs (ha ha) for a while and this could be the start of a whole new start.